Tips of the Week
1) Taking Care of Yourself
Well another week in, how are we all doing? What have you been doing for yourself?
Last time we talked about the myth of the perfect parent, why don't you share your achievement no matter how small so we can all celebrate with you?
This week we are looking at the ABC framework. Antecedent (what happens before) Behaviour Consequences.
So when your child is misbehaving, try and work out what the trigger was for the behaviour. Are they hungry? Bored? Out of routine? Or just want your attention? For example if they always misbehave at 12.30 and lunch isn't until 1.00pm instead of having the same row every day bring lunch forward, it could just be that they are getting crabby because they are hungry.
Another example is, if getting your child to brush their teeth before bed is becoming a battle, maybe say, “you have a choice, if you brush your teeth now there will be story”. They may choose not to have a story the first night, but they will want a story going forward if this is part of their routine. Try and focus on what you do want them to do (the positive) rather than what you don’t want them to do (the negative).
Have a think about this and message any questions to l.turner@bushyleaze.hants.sch.uk
2) Myth of the perfect parent
It is easy during these difficult times to feel that we are not coping well with our home or children. We will see and hear things on social media and television where families are all getting on beautifully, the children are all playing nicely and the parents are managing to home school their children and keep their homes lovely and clean and tidy.
There is no such thing as the perfect parent, everyone will struggle at times. We all just need to get through each day the best way we can. We, as parents, are aware of our children’s needs and the changes in their lives, we also need to acknowledge how this is impacting on us.
At the end of each day look for any positives that have happened and celebrate them no matter how small i.e. doing something with your children that has made you all laugh. Try not to stress about the little things, stop trying to tidy up as quickly as the children get stuff out, no one will be popping round! Tidy up when you can.
Give yourself a pat on the back and congratulate yourselves and each other for doing a great job.
3) Looking at your child’s behaviour
Well another week in, how are we all doing? What have you been doing for yourself? Last time we talked about the myth of the perfect parent, why don't you share your achievement not matter how small so we can all celebrate with you.
This week we are looking at the ABC framework. Antecedent (what happens before) Behaviour Consequences.
So when your child is misbehaving, try and work out what the trigger was for the behaviour. Are they hungry? Bored? Out of routine? Or just want your attention? For example if they always misbehave at 12.30 and lunch isn't until 1pm instead of having the same row every day bring lunch forward, it could just be that they are getting crabby because they are hungry.
Another example is, if getting your child to brush their teeth before bed is becoming a battle, maybe say “if you don’t brush your teeth now there will be no story tonight, it’s your choice”. They may choose not to have a story the first night, but they will want a story going forward if this is part of their routine.
Have a think about this and message any questions to l.turner@bushyleaze.hants.sch.uk
4) A little praise goes a long way
How has your week been?
Have you used the ABC approach? Did it make you think about why your child was behaving a certain way? What changes did YOU make? I would love to hear how things are going.
Today we are thinking about praise. This is so important, and even more so at the moment. Spend some time thinking about whether you praise your children, partner or even yourself enough? Or do we just expect things to happen without us having to praise anyone for helping out with chores, putting toys away or even just listening.
Use this week to have a real try at praising your children, partner and giving yourself a pat on the back.
Next week we will talk about different types of praise and rewards.
Please email me if you would like to ask any questions: l.turner@bushyleaze.hants.sch.uk
5) Using Rewards
So how did you get on with using praise? Did you manage to find things to praise your children for? Your partner? What about yourself? We would love to know how it went. Why not send Linda an email
l.turner@bushyleaze.hants.sch.uk Now we will look at the different types of praise using rewards - social and tangible. This week we will look at social rewards.
These types of rewards don’t involve giving ‘things’. It could be, for example: an extra bedtime story, extra time watching tv, playing a game or going to the park etc.
Can you think of any social rewards you have used with your children?
Next week we will think about tangible rewards.
6) Tangible Rewards
Last time we talked about social rewards. How did that go? Does anyone have anything to share with regarding the social rewards they have been using?
This weeks it is tangible rewards; these are things that cost money, or something they can actually hold.
They don’t have to be big items, just a sticker, a book, a small car or toy or it could be a special trip out. I would love to know what sort of things you use as a tangible reward
It is important with any reward that your child understands what they are getting their reward for, that they only get the reward once the desired behaviour has been achieved, and you never take a reward away.
Tangible rewards are important because they strengthen the social rewards and praise but I emphasise that rewards don’t need to be expensive toys, sweets and other things that you buy. The most effective reward is often our time and our attention
Please email me if you have any questions l.turner@bushyleaze.hants.sch.uk
At Bushy Leaze we pride ourselves on offering the best support possible to our families and children. Below is information about outside agencies/services you can access; support available to your family and links to Hampshire services. Please also see our page titled 'Useful Links' for further information.
Dragonfly is an organisation that aims to support families with emotional well-being
A well-being website to support parents and children
A well-being site having a range of resources including supporting meditations, sleep, movement and exercises to help you out, however you are feeling
Evidence based advice for anyone supporting children and young people with worries
Follow and like Hampshire CAMHS Innovations and Events on Facebook - they are continuously putting up lots of helpful information and resources around managing emotional well-being and other useful advice.
An app for managing worries, designed for children with an Autistic Spectrum Disorder, but helpful for all children
Mustard Seed Autism Trust – A charity supporting families living with Autism
https://www.mustardseedautism.co.uk
An excellent website for ideas to positive mental well-being, including calendars for simple, daily actions to do as a family
https://www.actionforhappiness.org/calendars
For adults wanting to support their own resilience
Ways to look after your own mental health
https://www.nhs.uk/oneyou/every-mind-matters/coronavirus-covid-19-staying-at-home-tips/?
fbclid=IwAR3V_U4Fm8kBBxdrlCADOoo_6zpo9roRhqYhybTj7AQb2Q0IJIIpUb6WFUQ
Simple tips and actions for self care
https://www.annafreud.org/selfcare
Calm is a worldwide app for guided relaxation and mindfulness. They have created free access to support guided relaxation in response to the coronavirus situation
Smiling Mind – an app designed to support with meditation and mindfulness for children, families and schools. Their website https://www.smilingmind.com.au provides lots of information and guidance and the app provides guided relaxation / mindfulness sessions. They also have a YouTube channel with lots of informative videos as well as guided meditation sessions also: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCSP__8_QEFYdi0gY2F3CXfA
Les Mills on demand https://www.lesmills.com/uk/ondemand Work out videos to do at home, free 30 day trial